How to Treat a Sister Like She'll be Missed

1. Tell her to set a whole weekend aside for unspecified hijinks.

2. Arrive at her doorstep on said weekend in a car full of sister, sister-in-law, brothers, brother's girlfriend, and refuse to tell her anything about the next 36 hours, even if she pleads in a pitiful manner. 

3. Drive a little way, find a pleasant Italian restaurant, and order a delicious meal.

4. Drive a little further, make her close her eyes, and walk her into this dayspa, where a foot massage, back massage and facial awaits. 

5. Walk her out, dazed and happy, take her for coffee, and then embark on a trek through to the Buong National Park to arrive at this thoroughly charming cottage.

6. After inspecting the vineyard out the back, ensconce her cosily with slippers and wineglass and good music and proceed to cook dinner for her (as below), consisting of perfectly cooked spiced lamb, asparagus, spinach and haloumi, followed by the crumbliest of good apple crumbles and sloshings of wine.

7. Talk lots and then settle down to watch silly funny film, e.g. Clueless.

8. Put her to sleep in a four poster bed with thousand-thread-count sheets.

9. After an early morning walk in the mist to visit the neighbouring piglet, llamas and cows, pack the car and set off to Healesville, making sure to detour on the way for wine tasting and antique browsing (yes, here is the extent of your self-sacrifice: antiques, maybe even bookshops will be involved).

10. Head off to your booking at The Innocent Bystander, that foodie mecca, and spend the next couple of hours in hedonistic consumption. (For it IS possible to get drunk on good food.)

11. Drive back to Yarraville, tip her out of the car and roll her back into the house in the manner of Veruca Salt (mid-blueberry). Leave her there to contemplate her ridiculous blessings.