Thursday, 3 February 2011

5 Propositions About Literary Heroines

1. Elizabeth Bennet never got lost in her life, because she always knew which way was North. No wrestling with maps on street corners for half an hour for Lizzie.

2. Isobel Archer never had an illness that didn't add to her ethereal appeal. For instance, I'm pretty sure she never had diarrhoea. 

3. Jane Eyre never put on five kilos in two weeks because she ate herself silly on carbohydrates, and had to fight desperately to lose it so that she could fit into her favourite dress.

4. Elinor Dashwood would never enter into a romantic relationship with any man who wasn't of the highest moral character and feeling.

5. Clarissa Dalloway never entertained guests by serving them rice dishes under a single dim lightbulb.

2 comments:

  1. But if Clarissa Dalloway had done that - gosh! It would have changed the face of English literature even more!

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  2. I am ashamed to admit that I don't know who this Isobel Archer is. But I don't really like people who have so much ethereal appeal that they don't have a case of diarrhoea every now and again. Jane Eyre was plain anf would have loved to put on 5 kilos in 2 weeks cause it at least would have given her some shape. Elinor Dashwood is so good she is boring. Blah. (Not that one should dalliance around with men of lesser moral character...) I'm also not sure who Dalloway is, but I suspect that she may have done other things in dim lighting?

    love you,
    erika

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